I pay a lot of attention to how we communicate with one another from the smaller scale of one-to-one interactions to larger group dynamics.
Here are a few tips I’ve collected on communicating clearly, effectively, and with good will
There are so many different ways to communicate. I’ve recently been appreciating the practice of [[looking at people as trees]] as a way of appreciating different communication styles.
There isn’t one right way to communicate (if there were it would be boring!) but we each have tendencies that can sometimes block our ability to communicate genuinely with others.
To shine light on and work with these tendencies, I’ve found the enneagram to be immensely helpful, as well as the teachings on Wise Communication from Oren Jay Sofer, who is trained in Non-Violent Communication (NVC).
These tools are about learning how to honor the reality of our interdependence. We all have needs, how do we navigate that together without habitually overriding one set of needs? —Oren Jay Sofer, Wise Speech course
Stating our Needs
We can practice communicating our needs in a clear and neutral way that others can hear, less weighed down by surrounding emotions.
Some example phrases we can use:
- I need a moment to gather my thoughts.
- I’m not sure how I feel about this, can I get back to you?
- Is this a good time to talk about ___ ?
- I’m looking for understanding / clarity / empathy.
- I need…
- some time
- some space
- some clarity
- some understanding
- some empathy
- a hug