We like to be right. When we’re in conflict with other people, it can be hard to just let go. We wish our siblings or spouses or co-workers would just change how they think, or how they are. This passage, from the spiritual teacher Ram Dass, is a good reminder to observe others with interest, without reacting emotionally to their behavior.
When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying “You are too this, or I’m too this.” That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.1